Why it Sucks to Be a Nice Guy

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Have you ever heard of the term "nice guys finish last?"

I know, I know . . . I think I have an idea on what's going on in your mind right now, you're probably thinking "No, that's not entirely true, I don't agree with that. Women LOVE nice guys. Women love men who opens doors for them, takes out seats for them and treats them like a queen. Jerks might win their heart in the beginning, but then nice guys always get the girl in the end . . ."

Well for the record . . . YOU'RE WRONG.

I don't know what rock you've been living under for the past five years, but this is the 21st century my friend! I do agree with you on one point though, women do LOVE nice guys. They love them as friends, or as best friends, or as big brothers, or as cousins, etc. . But unfortunately, women would very RARELY like a nice guy to be their boyfriend.

Now before I get any violent reactions, let's talk about the term "NICE". What would qualify as a nice guy?

Here are some examples:

1 A nice guy is a guy who appears to be so weak that it seems as if even Hanna Montana can beat him up.
2. A nice guy is a guy who is needy, clingy and revoltingly insecure. He's so concerned with winning a woman's attention that he'll do ABSOLUTELY anything for her.
3. A nice guy is a guy who's too damn available ALL the time.

4. A nice guy is a guy who apologizes all the time even though he didn't even do anything wrong.

5. A nice guy is a guy who hangs onto every word you say and then agrees with every point you make.
6. A nice guy is a guy who is simply just TOO MUCH. He's the type of guy that would bring flowers, chocolates and a big teddy bear on a lunch date.
Now do you know how women respond to nice guys who are simply just too much? Here's what they tell their friends about them:

"He's so nice . . . but . . . I'm BORED."

Or

"He's so nice . . . but . . . I don't think I deserve him."

Or

"He's so nice . . . but . . . there's just no sparks between us."

Hard to accept isn't it? I know, I know it hurts . . . why don't you come over here and cry it out on my shoulders sweet pea . . .

I'm assuming that you probably got your "super nice guys get the girl at the end" mentality from your dad and your Vietnam war veteran granddaddy. I hate to bust your bubble here bub, unfortunately that's not how it works in this day and age.

Let's take a look at four of the most significant notions you have to be aware of when it comes to attracting women:

1. The heart is IRRATIONAL.

We can't CHOOSE who we FALL for. I know it sucks, but that's just the way life works so you just have to DEAL with it. Attraction can just happen in an instant without warning, you can't really direct your heart which direction to go and you can't CONVINCE her heart to choose you either so don't even bother trying.

2. Beautiful women have PLENTY of options.

Beautiful women have hundreds of options, that's common sense right? She gets hit on in clubs, in libraries, in shopping centres etc. She also has a number of close friends who are just "pretending" to be close friends but in reality, can't really wait to "get it on" with her. They pretend to be the BESTFRIEND yet what they really want is to be the BREASTFRIEND though. That's why for any beautiful woman, every look, every good deed, every sweet word is in one way or another is deemed as INTEREST. Maybe not all the time, but most of the time that plays on her mind because almost every guy she's been in contact with has shown interest at some stage.

3.The heart is ILLOGICAL. It doesn't follow any rules.

When you think about the concept of attraction, it only makes absolute sense that women should be drawn to nice, polite, well educated, honest gentlemen right? But then why do so many women fall for Jerks and Bad boys? Where's the logic in that??

There's NO LOGIC period.

4. Women crave for SECURITY and STATUS.

I know that this might seem unfair, unfortunately women are almost BY NO MEANS attracted to men of "lower status" than them or whom they feel can't give them any security. This is why particular stereotypes exists, such as women not liking men with no jobs and no future, and women not liking men who looks and sounds like Steve Urkell. They want a MAN not a LADY-BOY.

Now, if I had to describe the one massive blunder that men make with women, the one that causes the most heartache, then I'd have to say that it would be . . .

BEING A NICE GUY, AND EXPECTING HER TO FALL FOR YOUR "NICENESS."

Have you ever pursued a woman with flowers, chocolates, and expensive gifts, only to have her say "she doesn't know what she wants right now" and needs "time to think". . . which eventually led to her to seeing you as "just a friend"?

Have you ever met a woman and given her a nice compliment, only to have her look the other away and show signs of boredom?

That's what happens when you're too nice. Bottom-line? NICE GUYS don't spark off ATTRACTION.

Too much of a nice guy is BLAND. They're too needy and clingy that it's nauseating.

Now, the first reaction most guys usually have when they hear this is shock and awe because being nice is what their mommies taught them ever since they were a little kid. So when they hear this disturbing piece of news they say things like "But I don't want to be a jackass" or "I like being a NICE guy" or "I'm just trying to be MYSELF that's all . . ."

Don't worry, I feel you Dawg.

Well here's the thing, you don't need to be a "jackass" or be "mean" to women, you just need to learn how the concept of attraction works and to STOP being too damn nice.

Do you know what really attracts women?

GENTLEMEN with a hint of BAD BOY swagger.

Yes that's right, you heard me, if there's one thing that triggers the attraction switches of an attractive woman, it's the guy's ability to be a gentleman but still retain a hint of cocky and arrogance. Someone who's not really up himself, but instead, knows how to tease his way into a woman's heart.

I still strongly advice opening doors, lending a jacket when the woman feels cold, walking on the outside of the curb, and pulling out chairs. You know, the usual knight in shining armour stuff. Men hardly do that anymore in this day and age, so it'll make you stand out. Being a gentleman is a great quality to possess indeed, however, you need to let her know that you can be a "BAD BOY" sometimes as well. For example:

You can pull out a chair for her and then say something like "This whole gentleman thing is a very rare occasion ok? So you better make the most of it whilst I'm still in a "nice guy" zone."

Or you can also pretend to dust off her seat before she sits on it and then say something like "there you go your highness" and then flash a teasing grin afterwards.

Or you can also spit out implied compliments like "now don't go acting all high and mighty with me just because you're cute ok?"

Get it??

Most men don't understand how a woman's mind works, that's why they get shocked to their core whenever jerks steal their women from right under their very noses all the time.

Let me share with you some basic facts about men and women:

Most women by nature play the "coy" angle. They play hard to get and they want men to chase them. Men on the other hand are strong, dominant and aggressive by nature. Most men are generally considered rough and tough, they're supposed to be SOLDIERS by nature.

But then here's the punchline:

Most men don't ACT like men when they're in the company of a woman that they are interested in. Instead, they act too damn nice and too damn pathetic, kinda like a LADY-BOY.

Guess what?

It's not "hot", it's not endearing and it's not desirable AT ALL. It actually FRUSTRATES women!

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Chris Robert Fox has 1 articles online

About the author: Chris Fox is a real-life dating/relationship expert and dating advice columnist for StarCentral Magazine. If you're reading this right now, and you'd like to learn more about how to get more dates, and have more success with the opposite sex in general, then I'd highly recommend that you click on the link below:

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Why it Sucks to Be a Nice Guy

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This article was published on 2010/04/02
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